I am back...again! Hopefully to stay this time! I feel like I always have a ton to update on but then to actually sit down and write is my problem. Well today is my first official day of Summer! I have spent the last 4 years teaching. It has been the only "career" I have really had. I have had a ton of jobs, but not careers...there is a difference. Well yesterday I walked away from teaching. Something has been tugging at my heart telling me that I needed to move on, try something new, maybe get to spend a little more time with my boys. So with a job change by my husband and with lots of prayers, I walked away. As much as I have been looking forward to the end of this school year (God bless those kiddos...they were quit the group) I woke up this morning feeling a little uneasy. Not really sad, but not jumping for joy! You see, teaching is one of the very best professions I believe out there. Kids deserve the very best when it comes to education (and everything else), and teachers are the ones that can provide that for their students. I am not going to go into all the details of teaching, and if you are a teacher I would hope that you agree and if you are not a teacher, I hope that you realize how "hard" teaching can really be. Teaching is one of the toughest careers. It is all consuming, stressful, hard, underpayed (just tellin' it like it is), under appreciated, pulling (in 5 hundred directions) and tiring. Teaching is all of those things, but teaching is also rewarding, fun, inspiring, fulfilling, and at the end of the day you feel good about the impact you are making on your students. That is what I will miss the most.
With all this said.... I didn't feel like I could just teach. I had to do SO many other things throughout my days and weeks that it took over my love for just teaching. I had to do this and that and find time for this and not doing enough of that. I began to feel inadequate, like I wasn't giving enough of my time and energy into my students. That is when I ultimately decided I needed to walk away. I have learned so much the past 4 years, and feel very grateful for all the awesome people I met and got to work with along the way. I think I will always "feel" like I'm a teacher... It's what I always wanted to be. But yesterday, I walked away....I'm scared, relieved, sad, hopeful and most importantly trusting. I'm trusting that God is guiding me right where I'm supposed to be.
Thank you for "listening" and letting me be honest, real and open.
To whatever tomorrow brings,
~Breanna
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