Actually the only reason I am writing again today was because my blog post from one year ago today came up on my time-hop app and I cried and smiled and went through all of the feelings. Good and bad.
I feel sorta like a broken record this time of the year. We celebrate my moms birthday, we celebrate my birthday and then today comes around. The 26th of September. You know the song by Green Day, "Wake me up when September ends?" that has been my mantra for the past 9 years. If you know me at all or have known me the past 9 years, I always reflect on this day. I go through the feelings I went through 9 years ago and usually today is a really hard day. I think about how terrible it was to be in that hospital room and how my heart broke into a million pieces that day. If you want to read how I felt last year just read down a few posts. I still feel the exact same way I did last year, and the past 9 years. But today is a little different. I woke up a little less sad this year. A little more at peace. My mom died 9 years ago today. She lived, she loved and she was passionate about everything around her. She loved her family better than anybody I know. She was sweet, understanding, loving, comforting, and adorable. She wore flip flops about 95% of the year and to this day when I hear flip flops "flapping" I think of her. She was the best mama, a great wife, a loving preschool teacher that had coworkers that adored her and kiddos that loved her! She was a great women.
Today I am going to love on my family a little deeper and think about all of the wonderful memories I have of my sweet mama. She was the best. She is in heaven, the best place she can be. My heart still aches for her and there isn't anything I wouldn't do for just one more day. Or to see her with all her sweet grand babies or to hug and kiss her hand one more time. There is a lot I want. This is when I get tears in my eyes and they start rolling down my cheek. I am not going to dwell on the "what could have beens" but it's hard not to think about. The best part is, she is watching over all of us and I like to think that she is smiling from heaven, happy with the life she created and the legacy she left behind.
I love you mama. I miss you more than ever and thank you for loving so well, that I can still feel it today.
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| I added this sweet picture of my boys because I am the mama I am today because of her! |
