Dear Mama,
First off, I miss you SO much. I can't believe it has been 8 years since I saw you. I think about you every single day. I never imagined that you would be gone this early in life, but am so thankful for the time we did have together. I got married to Nick almost 5 1/2 years ago. I am so thankful you knew him and knew we would one day get married. Remember when we used to look at jewelry store adds and pick out the rings we liked? He picked a good one! We got married at a venue on a lake, that I know you would have loved! It was a perfect day, but I longed to have you there. I graduated college! I became a teacher, just like you! I taught for 4 years, and just this past May stopped teaching. It just wasn't what I thought it was going to be. Maybe I'll go back one day, maybe I won't but I am glad I gave it a try. You are a Granma, mama! Just like you wanted! I found a notebook of yours in the garage not too long after you died that said you couldn't wait to have grand babies. My heart aches that you aren't here to meet them and play with them, and be their Grammy Tammy. You would have been the absolute best Granma. Believe me though, they all know about you! Bryson had your first granddaugther and after that the babies just kept coming! Bryson has 3 girls, Britt has a girl and a boy, and I have two boys! I have Luke and Cody. You would adore them and they would adore you! Luke is 3 and is a really sweet boy. He loves everything Dinosaurs, and is obsessed with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He is great at sports and can be pretty shy! He got to start pre-school this year, and guess where he is going? La Casa De Cristo! and he is in your same classroom! It seems so strange to be in that same room that you once taught in, but I have so much peace with it as well. His teachers are great, and he has the teacher that started teaching while you were sick. She knew of you and hugged me tight when she found out who I was and who Luke was. It is a very special situation. The La Casa team still loves you and speaks so highly of you! Then there is Cody. Cody is 9 months old and is just about the most precious thing in this world ( I am bias, I know). He is so full of love and happiness, it just radiates from him. He is just about to start walking, he pulls himself up to everything and walks along anything that will hold him up. He loves ALL food and would eat all day if we let him. He loves his big brother, and I think the love is mutual. He is a mama's boy right now, and I love it! All the grand babies love Dad! He is the best Papa! You would probably love him even more seeing him as a grandpa. He is pretty great! I know he misses you terribly. You were the love of his life and always will be. This part of life without you is so hard. We all miss you so much. We spend a lot of time together as a family, just like we always did. The Hevner Cabin is still exactly how you decorated it. It is a little piece of "Mama" when we are there. We all cherish the memories we had with you and became better people because of you! I love you mama so much and will never ever forget the sound of your voice and the feeling of holding your hand. I love you.
Love,
Me
I would then hug her and never want to let her go. Our conversation would last for hours, just like they always did. We could talk about anything and everything. I would hold her hand and kiss the top of her hand like we always did before we would leave each other.
We had a very special relationship that will carry me through this lifetime and get me to when I will see her again! Another September 26th is coming and about to go. God gained a pretty special Angel this day 8 years ago.
September is hard. October, I welcome you with open arms.
*I felt like I was about 8 years old writing that letter. Bare with me. It has been on my mind for months, what I would tell her if I could talk to her one more time. That is what came to mind and I needed to write it down!
~Breanna
